How Not to Detox
We’ve all done it. Vowed not to drink again, eat so much and treat our bodies as temples. Here was my pitiful attempt!!
Monday morning, day off!
07.00: Detox! Green tea: cups x 2. Got back ache, my kidneys
11.00: telephone call, ‘need to talk to you, meet you in the pub at 12.30!’…bugger, I’ll just have the one.
12.30: Arrive at the local pub, one bucket, one bottle, two glasses….double bugger, still have just the one, half of a bottle that is…and then more green tea later (I believe it cancels it out you know!). Spent three hours and another bottle of wine later discussing important matters, seriously, with my stilettoed friend. So yes I have had just the one in the end, a whole bottle that is, ooops!
15.30: Green tea, cups x 2, which must have negated the earlier consumption of wine surely.
17.00: Cooking dinner, Coq Au Vin…damn, another one, not doing very well and of course may as well finish the bottle!
And that’s how my week started! So, ok minor blip with regard to detoxing until the weekend, but we’re all allowed the odd slip up I tell myself and anyway what’s the problem with enjoying a slurp or two with your friends, the red wine helps my heart! Not a good start to the week I know.
I do get fed up with all the anti-good time police out there, saying we shouldn’t eat this, we shouldn’t drink that, I believe that I am doing the community some service…with communal drinking, don’t say I don’t do my bit. Communal drinking surely must save the NHS ££££’s dealing with depression, diseases and other ailments, there’s bound to be someone at the bar, or who’s a friend of friend that’s had that particular illness. Who needs beta blockers when you can have a glass or two of Rioja? Advice is offered and even remedies given, why make an appointment with your GP just get down to your local.
I’d never had learnt all I know about problems you can have with your prostrate had I not been sharing a leisurely Sunday afternoon drink with the two gentleman bar fixtures who have both been through the ‘wringer’ as it was with their prostrate!
Tuesday: chuffed to bits, kidneys flushed with gallons of water and no alcohol appear much happier bunnies! Only problem is…body is now restored.
Wednesday:
12.30: Dilema with the detox, lunch appointment…eek! Feel good factor though is we always share a large jug of iced water, along with, you guessed it, a bottle wine, but I defend our actions! Creative juices are always helped along with a little alcohol injection, lose a little of your inhibited nature and allsorts of solutions, ideas and suggestions come about. Just beware you don’t lose all your inhibitions, could be a little embarrassing at lunchtime (dancing on the table is not a good idea when you’re trying to pitch for business)! Save it for later!
Thursday: Lunch with a colleague, ordered a lime and soda, got laughed at, had two glasses of wine…not bad!
Friday: D-Day has arrived, away up north for the weekend…that’s a dangerous scenario in itself, doesn’t bode well, cheap drink, late nights…ouch!
When I get back Monday morning I’m sure I’ll feel a full detox week coming on…hhmm?
